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jay_ema6
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Name: JM
Location: Manila, Philippines
Birthday: 2/3/1990
Gender: Male
Interests: Sports(Basketball, Soccer, others...), Malling( Hanging out, Movies, Eating, Window Shopping, Shopping, Walking, Having Fun, Fishing and the other things you can do in a mall) Watching Tv, Using the Computer, having FUN! PLASMA.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  jay_ema6
Jabber: "What is done is done. Everything happens for a reason..."
Member Since:
9/2/2005
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| Music: Toe - C Mood:
Chill i haven't blogged in awhile. i guess i have
too much things on my mind, too much things to do. time hasn't been so
friendly for awhile. so i've been planning to blog
and write for a long time. i've been procrastonating and really lazy to
blog for about a month now. lot's of things have happened since the
last time i blogged, obviously. last time i blogged was August, that's
more or less 2 months ago. so, sooooo many things have happened. but
i'm not really here to tell stories about what has happened, i'm not
here to make kwento. i'm too lazy for that. i'm just here to
express. i just want to say, i hate getting angry
and upset. my temper has been off for awhile. it hasn't been the same
"me", the usually cool, calm, collected. the one who usually will be
the one who tells you to chill rather then be the one to implode. but i
dunno why i've been this way. maybe, i've been stressed or tired. it's
crazy... i've just been tired of losing. honestly, i hate losing. i
don't like the way it feels, i don't like being part of the losers, i
just hate losing and everything affiliated with losing. i feel that,
losing is closely connected and intertwined with failing. the question
is, why am i okay with failing for example tests and exams and i am not
okay with losing? they're almost exactly the same. shouldn't i despise
failing like i despise losing because i know in my heart i am a winner.
i'd do anything to get that win, i'd do everything to win. when i want
something bad, i pour my heart out even though it is vulnerable, i
still do. that's how much i want to win, how much i don't want to fail.
so why am i okay with failing? i guess i just have to want it more. i
guess i just have to want it bad. i just need the motivation, the
inspiration. the spark, the feul, the
flame... anyways... about a month or so ago i
watched a rerun of The O.C. on ETC. for the many Filipinos who watch
ETC and count on them as their entertainment television source, they're
about a year late with The O.C. i guess they wanted to buy the showing
rights after a year of the last season to be able to get it cheaper.
anyways, going back to the episode of O.C. it wasn't exactly timing for
ETC but in The O.C. episode i watched last September it was about
Chrismakuh. Chrismakuh for those who don't know is a mixture of
Christmas and the Jewish holiday of Hannakuh. so if you watched it or
if you didn't watch it here's a recap. so Taylor wants Ryan but Ryan
doesn't want to go steady. So Taylor buys a gift and goes to the
Cohen's house to give Ryan a gift. When she gets there Ryan is up on
the ladder to put decorations for the house, Taylor then climbs up the
ladder to give Ryan his present but they have an arguement and boom,
they both fall of the ladder and roof leaving them unconcious. They're
rushed to the hospital with their friends and family watching over them
waiting for a Chrismakuh miracle. Taylor and Ryan are unconcious in the
real world, but are in a parallel universe. So a paralle universe is
defined as a
theory that there is a mirror universe and when one makes a decision in
this universe, an alternate 'you' in the other universe makes the
opposite decision. In order for them to get out of their unconcious
state, they would have to do finish a task, complete a mission, fix
things. Anyways, my point is that i liked the right timing of the
episode. The point of that episode, in Ryan's case is release, forget,
move on. It is timely cause i wrote words and played around with rhymes
mixing in my feelings and emotions. So the
poem/song's title is Co2, as in carbon-dioxide. I got it thinking of
the opposite of the song Oxygen by New Found Glory. i hope you can
understand the lyrics, just think of Carbon Dioxide needing to be
realeased, not needed and all. it's emo, so those who don't wanna see
don't look and turn away. "Co2"
Written by: Jm Anonas
feat. Stu Balmaceda
as i keep you in
i
slowly die within
as my eyes close
away, everything
goes
i'm
tired of keeping you in
realease you from the depths
within
i need something for me to feel
alive
if i don't get you out, i'll die inside
my
lungs, they tire
i can't hold you in forever
i turn
purple and blue
just a side effect of what you
do
this is getting old, i've been told
i have to get
you out, i have to let you go
i'm tired of keeping you inrealease you from the depths
withinslide out the tunnels of my
system (rinse these chambers as you go) give me the
chills that would make me feel alive again (and rinse these
chambers as you go) (because the poison is still
within) i'm tired of keeping you
in
realease you from the depths
withini can only think of before when i
once needed you to live something good suddenly
changes into something i will never need
so
there's my poem/ song. hope you got it what it meant and all. i heard
my friend Anjo play and sing it with a guitar. it sounds good. i hope
he work on it and fix it with Stu. i just want to hear it being
played. | | |
| Mood: Cheerful
Music: Alien Ant Farm - Movies
here's a list of 20 things i want to say to 20 certain people. i see everyone doing this these past few weeks. it's cool and yes, i'm going main stream and following everyone else. i was just too lazy to do it before. it's cool because you get to write all you want at the same time rant and or vent. i won't say who the person is either, but it's not like i'm one to say something bad. but this is cool.
i'm gonna use lyrics, maybe put some explaination after the lyrics for it to be more understandable. and this is not in any order, basically it's on random.
1 and 2. "if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends..." - you guys are the "friends" part of the song. you guys are the nicest, friendliest and funnest people ever. it's sad how things ended, i was looking forward to hanging with you guys. it would have been fun, fun, fun. oh well.
3 and 4. "i'll keep you my dirty little secret" - your story is a sad, sad one. it's just really upsetting. i can like you but you got you're own little secret. and oh, same goes for you. i thought you were innocent, you had that going for you. well that's your secret to keep.
5. "don't waste your time, i mean your already the voice inside my head. i miss you, miss you." - even though i don't show it or i don't say it, part of me misses you guys and that place. you were the guys i grew up with and that is where i learned everything from. i am who i am because of you guys. sometimes i miss it, but i'm fine with where i am now. you guys are my brothers from a different mother. i just got adopted by another one. i got your backs, i know you got mine. i miss you guys and the gaguhan.
6. "here i stand, won't turn back again. won't leave you, know how hard it's been. hear me now, you will never be alone. let's take what hurts, and write it all down. on these paper walls, and this empty house. and when our ink runs out, we'll burn it to the ground.", "i let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do", "everything is alright." - you, you, you. it's cool that we're close after everything we've been through together. it's really cool. we got this special bond that's different from others. i feel we don't need to complicate our lives with drama. who needs it? i'm gonna be here for you through thick and thin, as long as you need me to be. it's like you're all i ever knew.
7 and 8 and also 9. "being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up; these are the best days of our lives. the only thing that matters is just following our hearts and eventually we'll finally get it right.", "please don't go now, please don't fade away" - i had fun hanging with you guys everyday two years ago. we created a special bond. all those memories and fun moments. it's sad that we have our own things now. same goes with number 9. it's sad dude, we we're a great pair, a one two punch thing before. we'd always be laughing and fooling around. you and i made a great team on the court. when i moved, we just drifted or whatever. sad.
10. "that's what we get when we let our hearts win", "you're not alone, there's more to this i know. you can make it out, you will live to tell" - i asked you which one would be better, to have a piece of that delicious and scrumpcious cake and not ever have it again or not ever have it at all. we basically answered the same thing. i just want you to know it's cool we're getting close and that i will be here for you.
11. "what a feeling in my soul. i'm yours and certainly you're mine, cause you're brighter then sunshine." - you're not really brighter then sunshine cause your skin is just the same color. anyways, i just wanna say you are and will and have to be forever the nicest girl ever. you're there for everyone to talk, to give a hug, give advice thats not sidded. you are cool. whenever i meet someone really nice, who knows everyone and gets things going i say, she's like a *insert name here* of Poveda or whatever school. that's big. in the future we're gonna use your name to describe nice people. we gotta UBE and jog soon.
12. "and even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through", "pretend it's not forever, i'll pull myself together. i'll say that I'll forget her, i'll breathe. and I'll say she never hurt me, and look at it as learning. laugh about the good and the bad.
because I won't live forever, we don't belong together, i know I'll feel better. one day when I can make it through. i won't forget you, i'm not gonna let you win. but I'm tired of lying, tired of fighting for you and it's not gonna change.", " The answers we find are never what we had in mind. so we make it up as we go along. you don't talk of dreams when i won't mention tomorrow and we won't make those promises we can't keep. i will never leave you. i will not let you down." - i put our songs. you've been here beside me since forever. maybe you're the only consistent relationship i have? it's cool. you know all my stories, mis-adventures, feelings, emotions, every little thing. and it's cool. i'll be here for you, through everything because i know you'll be here for me too. UBE soon.
13. "i got a crush on you.", "crush, crush, crush." - i had a crush on you before but it's cool that we're friends and after a long time we're communicating again.
14. "it was in the heat of the moment." - i'm sorry if i did anything to led you on. and i'm sorry i was led on also. it was crazy. and i never did anything like that. i felt so guilty i swear. and i'm over the thing that happened between us during last February. we gotta talk more.
15. "there's something about you...", "you get what you give." - i posted the songs we like. sorry if i've been on and off or something. i'm malabo. you're a great friend, i like hanging with you. i just don't know what to say most of the time. i'm really scared you being a debate master and all. so sorry. hope to hang with you more and have our emo pictorial.
16. "i'm lost without you." - you guys, you guys are the missing part of this year. i've been hanging with you guys since second year, going to school and home from school. it's sad that we had to seperate and all. it's no fun, all i do in the car is sleep. i can't listen to my music and talk to anyone. i'm not saying my dad's not cool and all but you get my drift. so there. i miss you guys.
17. "i can't remember the time or place or what you were wearing. it's unclear about how we met, all I know it was the best conversation that I've ever had.", " oh, the summertime. thinking all those times you were...","just driving away, leaving it all behind. just driving away, yeah."
18. "if i could find you now things would get better. we could leave this town and run forever. i know somewhere, somehow we'll be together. let your waves crash down on me and take me away", " i know you're out there, somewhere out there."
19. "the problem with life is, unlike movies, there isn't any back ground music. so we never know what we're supposed to feel.", "can you help me find a way to carry on again?", "half hearted, half hoping that it would give me away. so i wont have to say..." - it's ironic. it really is. you out of all people, know what i'm feeling or not feeling. it's funny you know i'm in a dilema and i'm really really confused. sorry for being distant. i want to, but just not yet. i don't know what to feel.
20. "and it's all in how you mix the two and it starts just where the light exists, it's a feeling that you cannot miss and it burns a hole through everyone that feels it", "i rather waste my time with you" - from class number 1 to the 37th, even the fallen ones, you guys have been good to me the past two years, you've accepeted me with open arms when i was new and i've made life-long-like friendships. i'll be here for you guys for sure. we gotta stay together like a team that we are.
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| Music: Angulo - The Best Mistake
Mood: Amused
guess who's back?
i haven't blogged in a month. i haven't written anything worthwhile either. it's crazy, i got writers block or something. it's like i'll write a few lines and then i would leave it be. i have a theory, it's either i'm uninspired, apathetic and carless, cold or just plain lazy. maybe a mix of all?
anyways... life in general has been cool. it's been good. you know, when you just get that feeling of peace? like you're in your own sanctuary, moving at your own pace, watching the world pass by. get what i mean? it's like, everything good that doesn't need effort, that i need is falling right into place. like my friends, you can never go wrong with these guys. it's all fun and jokes. like my family, it's peaceful. maybe because of the way my attitude is and how i conduct myself?
there's a difference between things that i need are falling right into place. but things that i want is not quite just there yet. like my grades, it isn't as high as i wanted it to be, it's low. it's my last year, my senior year and i just want to go out with a bang. i watched Evan Almighty the other week and there was this really cool message there. it goes something like, if you pray and ask God for something, no matter how big or small, do you think he would give it to you in a snap? or wouldn't he want you to get opportunities to get what you want and work hard for it? it was something like that. it's really cool and it made me think. i don't want to sound too religious but i feel that it is like, little by little God is showing his plan for me. i dunno, but that's how i feel.
i failed math in the mid-term mark again, as usual. i got a D. it's not so bad, it could be worse. but maybe that's what he's telling me, it could be worse and i could be in deep with my parents, grounded and other possible parent punishment you could think off. maybe he's just telling me to do better and work harder. he doesn't want me to rely on stock knowledge and what i do in class and homework but he wants me to do more. even more so now, with College Entrace Exams coming up from left to right, he wants me to work hard, study, review, do exercises. i want to get into a good college? i pray for that every night. will he just give it to me? or give me opportunities to accomplish my goal? since i watched Evan Almighty, every situation i'm in, i think hard. i think off the opportunities God is giving me at a specific time. and i had a whole lot of opportunities to study, review, do more exercises. not everything can fall into place, sometimes you got to make it happen and do what you got to do.
how about drama? drama is defined as any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results by http://www.dictionary.com. as of now, i'm glad to say, i am drama free. i say, life is simple and there is no need to complicate it, especially with drama. i say it's cool to listen to other peoples drama, problems, feelings and emotions because it's always nice to help others and be a good and true friend. but if you're just listening, seeing, feeling things that affect or affects you in a way, small or big, you can always avoid the drama. you always have an opportunity to say yes or no. people can't get mad at you if you want to stay away from drama that affects you. you're just gonna feel down when you let the drama get to you. avoid it when you can, if you can. there's a difference between being a nice guy, who's always there but knows his limits and a too nice of a guy, who does whatever is asked of him, keeps whatever he's feeling only inside, slowly killing himself. life is simple, why complicate it? drama sucks. =)
so there... that's me keeping you updated.
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| Mood: Bouncy
Music: The Legion of Doom - Senses Fail vs. Taking Back Sunday
P.S. i didn't write this. a nice guy wrote this.
P.P.S.
this IS NOT ABOUT ANYTHING. i'm not complaining about anything. i like
being a nice guy and i wouldn't want to change that. it's nothing more
than the fact i like how it's written and how i can relate, nothing
less either. i just like whatever the writer wrote. it's amazing. it's
exact. and i can relate.
P.P.P.S. oh how i wish i wrote this.
This
is a tribute to nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never
become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching
about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is
dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but
restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors
and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the
changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that
obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female
friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls
need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open
minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor
of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her
theology to her clothing style.
This
is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back
from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the
guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the
creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for
compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by
the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who
are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being
boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated,
and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled,
and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This
is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and
when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly
dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And
even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you
assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This
is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her
and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And
even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the
guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a
counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time
she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing
“serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you
knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you,
justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh,
but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a
symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice
like that.
The
nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more
disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they
should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t.
From what I have observed on my old campus and what I have learned from
talking to friends at other schools, the only conclusion I can form is
that some girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them
claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a
specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too
nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or
“he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him
out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our
friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in
the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to
sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls
like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the
connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and
what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one
thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon
doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of
that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys,
not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls,
and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So,
until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys.
You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself
described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the
world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of
doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker
for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you
tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless
hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you.
You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved
vindication is coming.
| | |
| mood: happy
i'm too lazy and uninspired to type the prized fish story, again. it
was long. real long and it got deleted in a second. =| so i'll type it
when i feel like it. it's cool i don't feel like typing it anymore.
haha.
anyways... i made a quote. it goes like this.
take on life with your eyes closed. that way you can say you didn't expect anything.
life is crazy. teehee. =)
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